My Beautiful Mother

I apologize to those of you who have already read this message in an email. I'm posting it here for my friends and family that may not have heard yet.

Thank you for your kindness and support during this time. I appreciate the flowers and plants that you all sent as I know it is very expensive and these are hard times for everyone. The flowers and plants were beautiful and just perfect for my mother - she loved flowers and plants so very much. In fact, her husband suggested collecting donations in lieu of flowers, but I knew she would prefer to be showered with flowers. She would have truly loved the site of all of those flowers there just for her.

My mother, Cathey, died on Dec. 30 after years and years of battling sickness. Toward the end, she had suffered strokes and bowel trouble and had pneumonia during this last stay at the hospital which was around 4 weeks long. They had discovered a blood clot in her brain but had let her go the day after Christmas because it did not seem to be growing and she seemed to be improving. While at home for the next couple of days, she ran around the house as usual, cooking, cleaning and ordering things out of catalogues. She was truly glad to be home and out of the hospital. She would lose her balance the more tired she got, and I begged her the whole time to get in bed and stay there, but as soon as I would turn around, she would be up again and onto the next activity. Her balance issues were due to the strokes that she'd had - things seemed pretty good other than that. We even took a requested trip to Walgreen's and we also took her to have her hair done. However, we didn't realize her pneumonia was as bad as it was. Other than the typical shortness of breath while she ran around, it did not even seem that she still had it. Erik and I left her house on Sunday, and she called me in the car on the way home to help her find something she had misplaced. On Monday, I meant to call her after work, but we were so busy getting ready for our California trip for a late Christmas with Erik's family, that I completely forgot. Tuesday morning I got the call. Monday night and Tuesday morning she had been coughing terribly, and her lungs eventually filled with fluid. She begged not to be taken back to the hospital, and while the intention was to take her a little later, she died at home instead, where she wanted to be.

I would like nothing better than to report that I expected it and was prepared, but the truth is that I didn't expect it and I wasn't as prepared as I had been in the past when she had been so sick before. There are times in the past when she seemed more sick and weak than this time and I had been more ready for the call. But I was shocked and devastated when the call came, especially just having seen her.

I can't express to you how deeply sad I am on so many different levels. She was so excited about our baby, and perhaps that is the most painful part of all - that my children will never know the kind and gentle and beautiful mother that I had. I am struggling a lot with regret regarding my not seeing her enough this year and my own inability to see how sick she was this time. I have the deepest pain and sadness that I ever thought possible. While everyone says that time will heal, for now my every thought is full of nothing but her, and I can't imagine how the pain will subside, but I suppose it will. The absolute only comfort I have is that I saw her before she went and that she is no longer in pain.

She wanted to be buried in Hico, Texas where she was born. This is a very small town about 6 hrs from Houston where she lived. We had a nice service for her and the weather was beautiful. She was buried next to her grandmother in the family plot, exactly as requested. I've attached some words about her that I said at her funeral in addition to the eulogy the preacher gave. There are also some photos from a few years ago.

Thank you again to all of you for your support during this time. This has definitely been the worst and hardest thing that I've ever experienced, and you all are helping to provide me the strength to get through it. Thank you.