So Sick. Sick Sucks.

I have been sick with an upper respiratory infection for a few days, and the crappiest thing about it is not being able to take something to knock me out so that I can sleep. However, I suddenly remembered a natural remedy today that works like magic and I'm starting to feel better already.

Fresh pineapple. Something in fresh pineapple (the enzymes or something) breaks up the mucus and helps your cough. After several days of coughing as hard as I can and then laying down only to have both nostrils completely plugged, I can now breath through my nostrils and my coughing is better. We've also been placing a hot wet rag over my eyes that seems to have opened up my nose a bit (at the suggestion of the nurse we called this AM). Also, I was reading online that squeezing the web between your index and thumb is an acupuncture point that can also help to cut mucus if you squeeze for 1 minute. Page 298 of this link has all kinds of good suggestions for natural cold remedies, ones I wish I would have read 2 days ago.

We've had several incredibly busy days running around, shopping and preparing to host X-mas. We've been buying and hanging curtains, changing out hardware in the house and other various things that were put on hold when he was laid-off. But now that we're hosting X-mas, there was a lot of motivation to get some of these projects done. On top of that, I did a huge part of my sister's X-mas shopping (since she just had a baby) and am wrapping most of her gifts (not to mention shopping for our own gifts and wrapping them). The big problem is that I had to completely stop because of this sickness! Erik, however, kept trucking as he proceeded to go to Whole Foods last night and shop for the entire X-mas dinner. He was gone for over 3 hours! Poor thing was so worn out when he got home. Shopping for X-mas dinner is super hard when you hate going to the grocery store!

Erik tackles the lights.



Our first tree!


Baskets I've been making for my sister (all local Austin stuff).

In the middle of it all, we went to my nieces first slumber party on Friday. This took me WAY back. I'll have to add the videos later...


Hopefully after some more natural remedies this afternoon, I can get back on the horse. Our family X-mas is here tomorrow night, so we have a lot to do...!

Crisis Averted

Erik is a very smart man. I wish I could shout from the rooftops how much I respect him. It has been a little scary with him being laid-off, especially during the holidays and during a huge national economic crisis, but I knew he would find something. Alas, he has been offered--and has accepted--a job based in DC! Most importantly, he will still be doing what he loves, and an added bonus is that they'll fly him to DC 4x/year. We were calmly facing the possibility of being unemployed for an unknown period of time, but we are completely embracing the huge relief that we're feeling! It still doesn't feel like we can relax after being so financially tense, but it's nice to know that a paycheck will be coming soon.

It's all been good timing given that I cannot fit into my clothes anymore at all. I have two pairs of maternity jeans and two maternity shirts that I wear as a uniform since that's all that fits. I bought them in DC when we visited and still had jobs - had I known we'd be financially tighter soon, I would not have bought both shirts in black! Finally, I was able to visit a maternity store and buy a few shirts that do not make me look goth (just fat) :)

Oh, and we heard Firecracker's heartbeat for the first time yesterday (that's the nickname since we're due on the 4th of July)! Meet Firecracker:

Ready to go home...again.

We have been staying out at my dad's place taking care of my elderly grandma while he and his wife are away for a few days. Caring for an elderly grandma with early signs of dementia is probably not that far off from caring for a child with a WILD imagination, or a teenager with whom there is just no reasoning. She is completely lucid and normal, but then she will start to talk about super crazy stuff that is just not happening. When she starts to do the paranoia thing, there is just no consoling her - you can only shake your head and let her know that you're listening. It is very sad to watch her be so scared about things that aren't happening and not be able to calm her.

But on the bright side, we've had a nice stay out here in the hill country. It was like a little winter getaway with a nice back porch over looking the hill country, lots of deer right up close and a big screen TV. We limited ourselves to like 1.5 movies per night, forcing ourselves not to turn it on until like 8pm, and not to watch it past 11:30. It's hard to stop watching good movies like American Gangster, Forrest Gump, Cold Mountain and Knocked-Up...I am SO GLAD we don't have a TV!

The deer in my dad's backyard.



Scrabble with Grandma.

But after spending 10 days in DC and 4 days out here, we are definitely ready to be in our own house for awhile. Eating when pregnant and sick is so much easier at your own place. My dad's place is pretty far away from a grocery store, so there's no running out to grab something when everything in the house makes you want to throw-up. But I was glad to see that his grocery store carried some organic products. Though we are in Austin where Organic is God, we are still out in the country where BBQ beats all.

My nausea still comes and goes but I'm grateful that it's not as bad as it was. Now that I am more stabilized, I am going to try to limit myself in some of the things that I'm craving. For instance, I CANNOT get the image of a chocolate pie out of my head today. Last night it was watermelon and sour cream (not together, thank goodness), and today it's pie. When my dad comes in from the airport, we are supposed to get lunch in the hill country (a town down the road called Dripping Springs), and we will eat at a precious little bakery known for its pies. So I may not be able to pass up satisfying this craving today (I pray they have chocolate pie), but I am going to try not to give into every craving that crosses my mind, especially if it's going to affect my thighs. Because our baby will be born in July, I will save the watermelon cravings for summertime. You will probably find me in some pool somewhere with a huge plate of watermelon through all of June. The consistent thing that I often crave is some variety of grapefruit, whether it's the actual thing, or a grapefruit-flavored soda or grapefruit Popcicles. Something about the sourness calms my nausea and satisfies my sweet tooth, too. Hail the mighty grapefruit!

It won't be long before we have to pack our bags up again and head to California for a week to see Erik's mom (which we are way excited about - we leave on New Year's Eve), but until then, we look forward to a little bit of routine and R&R at home.

Recess

Ever noticed how the word "recess" is in "recession"? I like to think of it as Erik taking a "recess" from work. Since he was laid-off last week, he has not "played" at all (as one might do at recess), but instead has prepared incessantly for interviews and the chance that he might make a connection. He studies his code, he works on updating his website, he polishes his resume and he paces endlessly. His staring off into space has finally subsided as the shock of being laid-off wares off. And nothing has touched his playful spirit, positive attitude and the complete desire to be productive and working on something cool! As I type, he is in the other room on a follow-up call for an interview he had on Friday... Can't wait to hear how it goes!

I am wrapping up a day of work, and now that Erik is not working at his desk, I have somehow lost motivation to work at mine. I haven't felt great the past couple of days, so I have worked on my laptop with my stack of papers right in the bed. I have never felt so lazy (and comfortable) in my life. I used to get up, shower and get fully dressed just to go sit in the other room and work. But lately I'm all about working in jammies and using pillows as my desk. Maybe when Erik returns to his routine, I will find it in myself to return to mine.

Until then, I am trying not to eat stupid things. For one, I almost ate a huge ball of cookie dough last night which has raw eggs in it - a huge no-no. Instead, I had a piece of cold pizza, forgetting to pick all of the cold meat off of it which is another HUGE no-no (and even eating what cold meat has touched is a no-no). I am not so freaked out as much as I am just dumbfounded at how I can outright forget these rules so easily. If I don't watch out, I'll soon be at a sushi bar eating California rolls and washing it down with a beer.

When I am feeling well (and not throwing up), I almost forget that I am pregnant. We don't sit around talking about baby names or how we will raise our kids. I don't look at magazines at night looking for inspiration for the baby room. It's almost funny how little we DO talk about it. Maybe it's because not being sick is such a nice relief that it's nice to talk about other things.

But then there are those moments when I remember that I'm pregnant (and not just sick), and there are those times that we do talk about it. I can see the change in my belly, and breasts and hair, and I can feel my heartbeat stronger within my body. My veins are more blue and they remind me of the important job they are doing. My thirst is constantly off the chart due to the increasing amount of blood that I'm producing. Sometimes I look down and press all over my belly to feel the difference, and I am just now beginning to feel that it's not just my regular PMS bloating - it's different. And now at 3 months, the baby is swimming around freely in there, and even sucking its thumb - something I am supposed to be able to feel pretty soon. But right now, I am enjoying the mystery that I am sort of subtly reminded of as it takes place within my body.

Erik makes an effort to sing and talk to the baby, telling it updates about what we've done that day or how we're so excited. They say that the mother and father should always sing and read to the baby, even in the womb. I have been a little shy about this and I kind of do it in private, but Erik has been great about it. He just walks right up, lifts my shirt up and starts talking. I'm glad we are such close friends as partners or this could be really awkward...

Randomly, I just had a craving for veggies and tofu from a place on the "drag" on campus called Veggie Heaven. I haven't eaten there since I was in college...where do these things come from?! Last night our house guest was telling us about how his wife would wake up at 2am and send him out for ice cream or whatever it was that she "had to have". He said this was toward the end of the pregnancy when she was pretty uncomfortable and couldn't sleep. I am happy that I am still happily sleeping (though I didn't much last night), and my cravings take place between 7am-10pm. Erik has so much to look forward to...

10 Weeks

We went back to DC and Cumberland, MD for 10 days for the Thanksgiving holiday, and what a great trip. We didn't do anything spectacular, but it was great to be back in the old neighborhood and frequenting the old haunts. And so good to see family and friends. Honestly, it was a little harder on my emotions than I expected (because I miss it way too much), but my return to Austin was easier than I expected, too, so it all worked out.

Mainly, I love DC during this time of year, and was reminiscing about our old life there, one that would be hard to have with kids. Making the transition to Austin has been so much harder on me than I thought and so much easier on Erik than I expected. He is the one that is constantly convincing me that we did the right thing and that he definitely prefers working from home in Austin (and visiting DC) than commuting into DC everyday from the suburbs (which would have been the plan with kids if we had bought a place there). I just could not get that through my head until we landed back in Austin and took a cab to our neighborhood.

I was finally genuinely happy to be home, and the house finally felt like ours (for the first time to me). As we walked in, I was glad to see that no one had broken in, and I was relieved to finally lay my eyes (and my body) on our own bed. I was happy to wake-up to bright sunshine in the morning, and I was amazed that our trees were completely bare and had finally lost all of their leaves (Erik wasn't too thrilled about the raking...). I was glad to hop in the car and go to our favorite places to eat and to do some grocery shopping in amazing downtown Austin. I am not sure what finally clicked, but I am now embracing our move instead of constantly regretting it.

While I loved our apt and Dupont Circle, I was pretty tired of looking out the window and seeing parked cars above us! I also know that we could not have had there what we have here. As Erik says, we would either be renting an apt in a different (bad) neighborhood , and we wouldn't have been able to even qualify to buy an overpriced house in the burbs (barely qualified for what we got in Austin). All in all, I think our quality of life will be better here, and I am finally excited about embarking on our Austin adventure!

Now that I am 10 weeks pregnant, I am fully embracing the quiet comfort of our new home. Just the convenience of a not so cramped kitchen (like counter and storage space) can make a big difference when you're roaming the kitchen for an easy meal and trying not to yak on yourself. Our kitchen in Dupont was so big compared to other Dupont kitchens, but it had it's issues. For instance, you had to back-in ass-first between the fridge and the cabinets to get pots out of the cupboard. There was a huge pipe that ran through the entire house that was our heat source, but its existence in the kitchen made it almost unbearable to be in there in the winter (and you can forget about baking...anytime of year). The linoleum (yes, linoleum) had turned to a pee color and looked like I had already yacked on it. And while we were sooooo lucky to have windows at all, the view was tires and tailpipes.

Our new kitchen is pretty dated and ugly (blue Formica counter tops with a pink Formica backslash that is somehow all one piece...?), but it is so nice and open, and we no longer dread cooking since we don't have to prepare an entire meal on a cutting board-sized counter top. Honestly, Erik has been doing all of the cooking lately. I was in there quite a bit when we first moved in, but with my latest food aversions, I can barely stand the site of most food unless it suddenly appears in front of me somehow and then is suddenly eaten. The smell of the dishes (no matter how bad or few) makes me turn green, and I often spray the entire sink with a natural cleaning product that smells like basil (I've wanted to spray Erik with it a couple of times, but he prefers showers). He was basically dismissed from cooking those wonderfully elaborate home cooked meals he was making because my appetite has been reduced to wanting canned tomato soup, oatmeal, grilled cheese with mayo and pickles, pimento cheese sandwiches and Popsicles. Refried beans and rice make it to the list sometimes - oh, and Thai food of all things - but mainly the kindergartner in me comes out for mealtime (did I mention that I searched the entire Whole Foods for an authentic can of Spaghettios?).

Erik has been so amazingly supportive during this rough "morning sickness" stage. Early on I learned that I cannot get out of the bed without eating first or I'll be sick for hours. So he leaps up every morning to refill my water and to make whatever crazy thing I feel that I can stomach (oatmeal, cornflakes, breakfast tacos, whatever). Thanks to a nice package that his dad sent us, we even have a white wooden tray for eating breakfast in bed! Too bad my only feeling is to throw-up or it would be like staying in a B&B for 3 months! He never complains, he never suggests that maybe I might be ok to get it myself this time. He never assumes that the nausea is anything less than the worst case. I am so lucky to have this support right now. And I still can't believe that Erik is my partner for life - makes me cry every time I realize it.

During the rest of the day, the nausea comes and goes without reason or warning. Doing too much in one day or at one time definitely contributes to my susceptibility to it, so I've learned to chill WAY out. I used to run circles around myself, and now I'm like a 2-errands-at-a-time kind of girl.

I would say the biggest challenge right now is sticking to a workout routine (oh, and not throwing-up in general). I started one up when we got here, but then I got pregnant and sick. I started it up again despite the sickness (forcing myself to walk), but then we traveled for 10 days and it all went out the window. So I'm hoping that I may be able to get back on track this week. It's not only important for my body, but it's great for my mental health and it's so important for pregnancy (as is throwing up apparently).

Clothes have been challenging, too. With all of the craziness around moving and staying with other people when we gave our apt up, we both got out of our exercise routines, and I was not in great shape when I got pregnant. So my regular clothes were already a little tight, and now they're just a thing of the past. The books are all about embracing your new body and accepting that the creation of life is the focus and that it's beautiful. But it doesn't make it any less frustrating when it's your thighs and butt growing more than your belly, especially after only being able to eat white things (my middle name is now "Rice cake"). The economic times prevent me from being able to adjust my wardrobe to my "beautiful body", so don't be too alarmed when I literally start turning old sheets into MC Hammer pants (in floral)!

But being pregnant is an amazing experience overall, and we are very excited! Sharing the big news with our family and friends has been really great. While I complain and make jokes about the overall challenges of this time (moving, buying our first house and getting pregnant all in like 3 months), it is an incredibly joyful time and I am so grateful that this is my life. We are looking forward to sharing this time with you and staying connected to our friends and relatives. Having children is a humbling experience, and it's good to have you all interested and involved!

C-Sections, Birthdays and Painting, OH MY!

My family has been keeping us very busy to say the least. Between babysitting, birthdays and general visits, we are always on the run, but it's nice to be around family again.

The latest member of the family was born last week. My sister had an emergency C-section early Thursday morning due to an early breech baby girl trying to come out with one foot first. Arriving at the hospital in an ambulance and being knocked out with general anesthesia (no time for an epidural) is a stark contrast to the 3 natural home births she's had with the other children. But we're happy to have a safe mama, and a safe Angela Francine (all 7 lbs 11 oz of her).

Do you see the resemblance?

As you can see, all systems are finally go with the pictures, and as promised, here are some pictures of the house. We have not unpacked at all because we are still in the process of painting, and we don't want to paint around everything, so it stays in the boxes for now. There is also a general bareness because we are starting over with furniture (as in, we hardly have any). But we have picked up a few pieces from flea markets/used furniture stores, and one room is finally coming together!

Erik did a great job of arranging furniture and painting!

The futon has an off-white cover flung over it while we decide if we're ever actually going to put the darn thing on...

Nice, tall ceilings - hard to paint...


Screened-in porch off of our bedroom :)



We added those 3 lovely doors (in place of a small not-lovely window). The ladder is out because Erik cleaned out the gutters (fun).

We painted another room tonight and have started to take some wallpaper down in the bathroom (it is so ugly), so I'll put more pics up very soon!

Adjusting

OK, so I actually wrote this post almost a week ago, but I was waiting on the ability to post some pics along with it. We're not there yet (almost, but not quite), so pics will come soon - I promise!

Finally, I am beginning to feel more like I live here instead of like we are squatting in an abandoned house in some strange town. While the house still does not look any different, our routine and outings are what's making it feel more permanent.

We have been incredibly busy. Not only are we both still working full days (though I work two days less), we work for hours to unpack, to set up functional systems (like bill paying, etc.) and to set up computer stuff. We do a lot of yard work, we run endless errands, and take what seems like a trip to Home Depot everyday. As a child, I hated Home Depot, but now it is my favorite shopping spot. We browse every aisle looking at hardware for doors, interior paint, molding, lumber and yard stuff. Now that Erik has a big ol' saw (thanks dad!), and now lots of wood, I will surely never see him again. Remember the bench he made? That was just the beginning. And I can't wait! First he is going to tackle making a box for our compost. Then shelves for our bedroom (we have to hang them on the wall because the room is not big enough for a bookshelf). Then he will tackle a huge built-in for our living area. My MAN!

This may not seem like much, but when you add visiting family and friends, there's not a spare moment. But we are loving every minute and are enjoying the process.

Work-wise, we've got the routine down. We work on DC time (Eastern Standard), which makes for very early mornings, but without the commute. We get up, get fully ready and have tea while we work for the first hour or two. Then we take a quick break to eat breakfast on the screened-in porch (the Blackberry & iphone join us). I think Erik has eaten tacos for every meal from two nearby taco stands (one for breakfast tacos, another for everything after). But he finally made bread so that he doesn't turn into a chorizo taco with cheese and potatoes. Now he has his bread and spreads, and I make my everyday Mexican breakfast (one fried egg, spoon of organic refried beans and sautéed kale, all topped with avocado and hot sauce). I am not supposed to eat eggs everyday because of asthma, but I'm loving this breakfast right now...

Then we work until lunch, and we do the same thing - make a quick lunch and eat outside with our Blackberries.

Life without a commute is very different, and working from home is off-the-charts different. I thought I would struggle more with motivation and distraction, but I actually get much more done at home - no more hallway/cubicle conversations, and I don't get pulled into nearly as many meetings. I'm actually motivated to hammer through my tasks, and not to do personal stuff. However, when 2-3pm rolls around, I become increasingly antsy as I notice the beautiful weather and the neighborhood streets calling my name: "Come take a walk," they say. The margaritas also call my name, but I try to ignore them.

We have taken a many great walks to explore our neighborhood. On my first day, we bought a bike at a garage sale down the street before we even pulled into the house from the airport. So we also trade off taking the bike out (total retro cruiser), and we're working on getting another one so that we can venture out together. It's so great for going to the library and for getting breakfast tacos. I referred earlier to squatting in "some strange town" because it does not feel like Austin at times. I have never lived or hung-out in this part of town, so it is a totally different place for us both. We seek out our favorite places for dinner some times, but mostly we are being exposed to all new territory.

We met our neighbors on one side and across the street from us. We know more about these people and surrounding folks in the 15 mins that we talked than we did about our neighbors for 7 years in DC. People are so comfortable talking to others out here. It's hard to explain the contrast. If you've lived somewhere friendly, and then moved to DC, and then visit the friendly place, you will often notice how different interactions are in DC (if you're lucky enough to have any at all). As Erik put it, he forgot how much of a "westerner" he is. He says that the people are just different, and that he feels so much more comfortable out west vs. on the east coast. He said they're not exactly "bad" on the east coast, but that he can just be himself more - not as uptight. I definitely see that.

I sure do miss the Dupont Circle farmers market. Though there is a huge, bustling farmers market not far from here, I instead go to Boggy Creek Farm on Wed morning for an intimate (and quiet) shopping experience right on the farm. The variety is not what it is in Dupont (5 zillion types of apples and kale), but I still get everything we need, and I'm actually less overwhelmed. There are several varieties of mixed greens and squash, there's lamb and beef, feta and other cheeses, and much more (including gluten free brownies...) - we want for nothing, and it's a little cheaper. It's super different because it's on an actual farm, and during that time of day, there's maybe 5 other people there. And the other shoppers aren't exactly hippies, but they're definitely funky (tatoos, etc.), and they're super nice and genuine. Totally different vibe from the very urban and crowded market in Dupont. I love both, but I'm enjoying the change in pace.

All-in-all, we are settling very nicely, and we're enjoying the creative outlet of doing new things to this big open canvass that is our house. I have to be the luckiest women in the world to have such an amazing partner, a great house, a job at home, and all in a super great town that houses almost my entire family. Life is very, very good.

Blow Out

Today was my first full day in Austin. After a safe and somewhat emotional arrival last night, we ventured out in our Beastie Boys-video Oldsmobile that we're borrowing from my dad. We enjoyed waking up to a cool and overcast morning, staring at our backyard trees from our bed. Then we had breakfast at a favorite breakfast spot that exudes "Austin" (Kerby Lane) before heading off to shop for some basics (trash cans, etc.).

We decided to stop and get the alignment checked on the Oldsmobile since it was turning out to be pretty shaky (like more than the suspension that Erik repeatedly claimed "characteristic" of such old-school "rides"). While "Speedy Alignment" checked our car for what seemed like hours, we strolled through Target for only the second time in years. Being overwhelmed by all of the offerings (and having only a bike lock in the shopping cart), we decided to check-in with the car place. They said they had aligned it, but that it really needed a new tire.

At this point, we decide that it would probably be wise to let my dad know one of the tires seems to be "split", and that we're conveniently sitting in the parking lot of Discount Tires. He says that he happens to have a warranty on those tires through Discount Tires, and that he'll call back after he rummages through his papers to find it. In the meantime, we check with Discount Tires to see if they have a warranty under his phone number - they do. So the man comes out to take a look at them and informs us that the tires are 11 years old and no longer under warranty (and totally "split").

After reporting this to my dad and getting the same answer that he needs to find his paper work, we are getting hot and decide to at least get in the car and move it to the shade so that we can sit in it. We move it across the parking lot to the shade, and guess what - we can't turn it off again. The ignition or something is completely jammed and the car will simply not turn off. With a quarter of a tank of gas, and being all the way across town from my dad, we tell him that we will just bring the car to his house instead of sitting here burning gas while he figures this out.

Slowly we go with our hazards on, and on the freeway about halfway there, things are getting pretty shaky, and guess what - the tire blows. So we force the car over to the median and proceed to dig out the spare (donut) and a jack, and guess what - no jack. So then we call my dad to come meet us. And guess what - the car is still running. While waiting for a long time (and after I have run across the freeway to pee in a nearby bush), three nice men pull over and let us use their jack to get the donut on. By the time my dad arrives, the donut is on and we're ready to "roll".

Thankfully he offers to drive the Olds while we follow in his truck, and guess what - the donut blows. He maneuvers the Olds into a parking lot where we have to turn the car off by disconnecting the battery (and taking it with us so that it doesn't get stolen, since the key is still jammed in the ignition). From there on, it was a safe journey to his house where he had my sisters old convertible Z waiting for us (not as cool as it sounds, but it runs!).

Once we get a little more set up, I promise to post pics of our place. It looks great and we're really enjoying it. What we expected would be a good day of unpacking got lost on the car stuff, but we are taking it one box at a time.

I am fortunate enough to have been able to keep my DC-job part-time through March, and to telecommute from home. Erik and I have set up two little offices in our house, and we are preparing for a productive work week conducted from our home!

My last days in DC were really, really great, and I still feel like I'm just visiting Austin and squatting in someone's house. But more and more it's hitting me that I'm a homeowner (in this economy), and that I'm a resident of Austin (with a DC drivers license). Erik's smile is bigger than I've ever seen it, and really, that's all I care about at the end of every day.

Between Worlds

I wish I could share pictures, but the camera equipment is in a box. On a truck. In Texas. Texas.

We're out of the apt - oh so much harder emotionally than I thought it could be. Every time I stopped being so busy, I would just cry. Perhaps it's unhealthy to be so attached to a place - city or dwelling - but that is definitely what I am. After our AMAZING friends helped us move our stuff out of the apt ALL DAY LONG (thanks, Friends!!), we reminisced in our quiet, empty apt about how amazing our lives have been here, and about how incredibly lucky we are to have had the opportunity to live the way only some people can dream about. I will never ever forget how happy I have been here.

I am now working on the phase of being excited to see the new home that we actually own in Austin, another really amazing town.

Earlier when I meant to write this post, Erik and I were both between worlds. He was in transit to Austin, and I am still living in DC, but with friends. I'm happy to report that he and his sidekick, Jason, have safely arrived in Austin, and are tired beyond words. I, myself, went to bed at 6pm the past two nights and forced myself not to do the same tonight, so I can only imagine that Erik is delirious. But I did get a twinge of excitement when he called with his arrival news, and once he wakes up, I can't wait to hear about his impressions of his first home (that he owns). I'm sad to not be experiencing this week with him, but hopefully the money I am making will be worth it (like...we'll be able to eat - yea!).

The season here in DC has completely changed - fall has rushed in with very cool days and cooler evenings. City people are running around in their fall attire - some in the latest fashions, and some in the sweaters they've dug out from the bottom of their closets. I will miss how very stark and complete the four seasons are here in DC. It's funny that fall here is kind of how winter is in Austin. But when cold-fronts hit in Austin, it gets down in the teens and skips the snow all together - Austin just goes straight for the ice storms - the rest of the winter is very mild. But there is something to be said about not having to lug your heaviest long coat everywhere you go. I'm looking forward to a fall and winter of wearing just layers. And I intend to keep my DC-experience as a deep internal layer that I will never peel off - one that I will always know is there.

No Turning Back Now!

Did I mention that we closed on the house in Aug? We closed on Aug 15.

After signing and notarizing like a million-page contract, we Fed-Ex'd it to Austin and experienced a very anti-climatic first night as home buyers. We got to work right away picking out floors and finalizing renovation and contractor plans. And then it was on to packing.

Every night is now filled with packing, making weighty decisions about what's going on with the remod (and budget) and doing "all of those things" in DC that we want to do before we leave. Everyday our contractor uncovers another cost as he digs deeper into the bones of this house. We are doing our best to "do it right the first time "and not cut corners, which means we may be eating nothing but peanut butter until Halloween.

Whoa...Halloween... We may have our first Trick-or-Treaters this year!

Because we cannot be there to run errands and make judgment calls, we're very appreciative for my dad's help, and for Ravyn's help - she ran over to our house (baby and all) to take several pics of the yard so that I could see if it was torched from the summer heat (turns out I now own a hose from the guy we hired to water the yard...I'm sure we'll be billed for it). And who knew I would ever directly benefit from my dad's trailor? I don't know how else he would have picked up our floors. Thanks so much to you both!

Erik will roll out of here on Sept. 30th, and will likely arrive in Austin around Oct. 3rd or 4th. I will fly out a week or 2 later after securing some more dough (or "pork" as they would say inside the Beltway).

And Holy Hannah! To what will he arrive??








Have you ever watched HGTV or some show where a contractor is doing demo in someone's house and the owner is outside talking to the camera/show-host saying, "Uh...I'm kind of freaking out. My kitchen is a complete disaster, and I just really hope this comes together..."?

Well, I can't relate. While these pics look crazy, and even after my dad asked if I'm regretting all of this yet (umm...support please!), it does not freak me out a bit. In fact, I am much more able to see the potential than I was before the demo. I guess that's how much I hate carpet...

Long time no talk, Cris!!

While cleaning stuff out tonight, I read through old journals and notebooks that I used to keep when I was "deep" and liked to "write". Poetry flowed like honey from a youthful heart, and heartache splashed the pages with each relationship's coming and going.

And then I found this. A set of questions written to myself in 2003, entitled "Questions for the 30 year-old Cris". You can imagine my shock and surprise as I sat there and realized that I am 30 for only 1 more month. And had I not been moving, I would never have found this, and would have missed the opportunity to answer them honestly and on-time.

I remember now the motivation for such a futuristic and thoughtful effort. My roommate at the time received a letter in the mail that she had written to herself back in her freshman year of college. The cover letter reminded her that it was something they did in her program, but the program was being discontinued, and instead of the program mailing it to her parents 10 years from the writing date, they mailed it to her about 5 years early. You'd be surprised what it asked, and how different her answers were from the time that she wrote it...I was shocked.

I wasn't so shocked with my own questions and answers, but I was certainly jolted a bit, saddened and elated all at once. Lucky you, I have recreated the questionnaire below, and have added my answers. Yikes...

Are you happy?
Yes, very much so.

Are you living in the present?
Actually yes, because I am so afraid of the future right now, and I'm trying to savor the present for once!

Are you faithful in your relationship (if you're in one)?
Yes.

Have you made peace with your loss of 2003/01?
What in the hell does that mean??

Are you in touch with your creative self?
Not until a couple of days ago when I was packing up my beads and decided to make some stuff to sell as one last desperate attempt to earn some cash - it has been many years (and it shows).

Are you still hiding your body?
Can I answer that later? Geez...yes...I guess sometimes...

Are you still obsessed with image?
Well...I wouldn't say obsessed, but I can get a little involved every once in awhile...

Are you struggling with materialism?
Funny you should mention that, Cristina - I go back and forth with wanting to work extra in order to get some nice stuff for our new house. So, I guess I am a little bit - it's still a love/hate thing with me.

Are you smoking?
No, I quit - yea!!!

Are you in love?
Insanely so. Aren't you gonna ask me with whom?

Do you love where you live?
Way too much...

Are you a slave to your job?
No, not anymore (phew...).

Do you still go by "Cris"?
Not at work, but it's hanging on everywhere else!

Have you taken someone else's last name?
Well, not yet, but I intend to before I leave DC and after our loan is all settled (really, Hon - I am).

Are you still a democrat?
You could say that!!!

Are you active in your community?
Define active. OK...no.

If you have kids, did you name them Leif and/or Helena Jude?
Not there yet, and I won't reveal the plans (not even to my past self)!

Are you still trying out new French bistros?
Uh, yeah!

Are you living to love and loving to live?
Very poetic, Cris. Yes, thank you.

Are you still patient with other's processes?
Not as much as I should be.

Are you maintaining familial relationships?
Does moving back to TX count (YES, it does - can you tell I wasn't raised with family around? What a question!)?

How's your mom? Are you still in a place where you forgive her, or do you resent her yet again?
In a good place now, but had bad spots in between.

Are you deep in the heart of TX (in all respects)?
OMG, Cris - really. How dorky are you?! I'm not even going to answer that (dork).

Are you playful in your relationship?
Yes :) My Pup and I just love to play (way too much actually)!

Are you still advocating for gay rights for a living?
Oh man - couple of years late on that one.

Have you gone to graduate school?
No, thank goodness! I don't have student loans!

Are you taking care of yourself? Your asthma?
I'm so glad you asked! I'm doing great in that respect (though I could use a lot less red wine and dark chocolate).

Have you learned to sew?
No, but I still plan to, dammit! Don't judge me, Cris (unless it helps you/me learn to sew).

Do you take more pictures?
Cris, you wouldn't believe it - I have a digital camera now! I take loads of pictures (but ask me in 5 years what I did with them...).

Do you believe in God?
Man...who's reading this blog again...? Let's just say I'm kind of agnostic.

Are you spiritual?
Probably not... Define spiritual.

Are you still trying to mold and control your partner?
Damn, dude! That phase is over thankfully. I decided to trust people, especially the one that loves me more than anything.

Are you reading more?
Thank goodness for the subway! Yes (does the paper count? Just kidding :)

Is seeing movies still your favorite past time?
Honestly, besides hanging with Erik, yes, it's still my favorite thing. Nothing beats sneaking treats into a cool dark theatre, and losing yourself in an artful production.

How is your game of chess?
My what? Um...

Do you have plants in your life?
Barely - they probably wish I didn't.

Do you like Tori Amos?
Another really dorky question. Tori and I are pretty much over.

Is music still a big part of your life?
It's on all the time, but I don't know who it is singing (Pandora Radio is this whole new thing. I love music, I just don't know much about it these days...but then again, I never really did).

Have you done anything in the past 5 years to make the world a better place?
Just 10hrs/day!!

Is your country at war?
Sadly, yes...still at war.

How is your anxiety?
Surprisingly high lately. Why do you ask? I don't remember you having a problem before. Honestly, I don't. I thought this was a new phenomenon.

Are you embracing your past or running from it?
Um...I think I'm embracing it (because I'm not running from it).

How's Louisa?
Ask her.

How's Jennifer Kern?
(she's the roommate that did this whole question thing) Honestly, I don't fully know, but I plan to connect with her again once back in Austin - she moved back, too (oh, and her name is Kennedy Kern now...)!

Do you like your hair?
Are you kidding me?? Actually...I'm learning to like it more - decided to grow it out and it's much better now (kind of).

Make-up or not?
Yes, but after kids, I will probably stop. And what the hell? Why does it matter anyway??

Are you wearing glasses?
Not updated ones!

Working out?
Yes (but not enough).

Do you still watch the sunset?
Rarely. Can't see it in this town!

Do you write poetry?
Never. However, I have written music - that counts, right Cris?

Who are you blaming for your downfalls?
God, girl! You/Me, I guess!

Are you still considering public office?
Wouldn't you like to know...

Who's the President?
Too bad you didn't ask me in a few months! I can't bare to tell you who it is right now...

How's Colin Cunliff?
Well, he contacted me recently through this thing called Facebook (don't ask), and he's great.

Corri Planck?
Good as ever (we still use email to communicate - yes, email's still around).

Do fresh flowers still find their way into your life?
Yes, but I'm not the one buying them!

How's the clutter?
Not so hot right now, cuz I'm movin' and all...but getting rid of lots of stuff!!

With whom are you really in love?
I thought you'd never ask! The "really" part is throwing me off a bit, but I'm in love with Erik Summerfield (was "me" supposed to be the answer?).

How's Katie Stone?
Last time we talked, she had been better, but we're not in touch if that's what you want to know...

Ben Glazer?
He's great - graduated from Harvard Business! Another successful ex-boyfriend under the belt!

Are you still growing from your experiences?
What else would I do with them?

Natural child birth, if any at all?
Still hoping for it!

Career mother or stay-at-home mom?
Gonna try for both...

Traveling? Seeing the world?
Absolutely!

Do you still cry in the bathroom?
How did you know?? Why do I do that?!

Are you a good aunt to ALL of your nephews and nieces?
No. But really, that's a huge motivation for moving back to Austin - so I can be closer to all 11 of them!!


So you see? Kind of scary, but I highly recommend this exercise - it can be very enlightening to inquire of yourself in such a way. The challenge is where do you keep the questions, and how do you remember to answer them in 5 or 10 years? If there's not a college program to do it for you, how can you remind yourself (unless you miraculously stumble upon them like I did)?

I really don't know, but I'm going to try it again. Here are some questions I would start with:

Questions for the 35 year-old Cristina

Have you had kids yet?

Are you freaked out by their astrological sign?

Are you still scared to death of not being a good mother?

Do you still have a very playful marriage?

Have you done your wedding album...?

Are you a homeowner? Same home as the one you bought in '08?

Do you yearn to live in the big city still (DC in particular)?


Any many other questions :)

It's been nice catchin' up with you, Cris!

Moving Forward

After holding two briefings on Capitol Hill, and after a lot of stress associated with the process and aftermath, I am starting to be more comfortable with an identity that doesn't involve lobbying and advocacy. However, the expenses that are incurring with each considered renovation (no matter how minimal) are enough to have me looking at jobs non-stop in my spare time. I do not trust that I will be able to do a full-time hardcore job, such as I have now, while puking, etc. (though I know many a woman has done it - I don't desire to be one of them), so I have been looking at alternatives.

Briefing on the Hill...

Part-time nanny is appealing because there's some flexibility (with predictability), and it's good practice (and for a good cause, in a way), but no nanny-seekers have written me back (they want a nanny, not a lobbyist). Dog-walking fell off the list after I imagined being maimed by a pouty pouch. And so it is that I have come full-circle to the prospect of what I know and do best: lobbying and advocating. My field preference is changing, but I bet I will end up doing some kind of bleeding-heart work for peanuts, with a side of throw-up, at least until my body dictates otherwise. Part-time is the goal - I figure that will cover some home improvements, and my desire to get fun paint on the walls ASAP.

Some bleeding heart liberal leading a group in a march on the National Mall...I don't know her...

After a very thoughtful email from Erik's sister Bianca, I am feeling less and less anxious and more excited about our decision to re-lo. As I fantasize about puffy tacos and frozen margaritas, cut-off jean shorts and tubing in the river, I realize that I've been suffocating my excitement, but that it still breathes deep within.

An incident last night fueled my fire just a bit more. I had a phone consulation with a guy named Jim at People's Rx in Austin (a pharmacy that has nutritionists and holistic Dr.'s on staff to encourage natural healing through nutrition, etc.) - he was very knowledgable about effective remedies for asthma during pregnancy, and the risks of the prescription that I currently take. He spent well over our scheduled half hour, giving me invaluable information that I have never heard about my lungs after 30 years of having asthma and spending time in Dr.'s offices to get prescriptions. NEVER have I heard about mucosal secretions, and soft muscle, and the positive affects of magnesium on asthma, among a breadth of over things. He was very thorough, and so laid-back, genuine and SUPPORTIVE vs. pompous and arrogant like most Dr.'s have been with me about this.

When we were done, I requested that he transfer me back to the front desk so that I could pay for my consult, but instead he told me not to worry about it. That is so Austin! I was blown away, and I can't wait to get to Austin so I can pay him with a gift certificate to a kickin' restaurant.

Something else that excites me (don't laugh, because I am seriously jumping the gun on this one...) is my recent joining of the Austin Organic Moms Meet-Up (it's called something like that) - it's a group of mom's that get together regularly for social things, but they are all women who are raising their kids with attachment parenting methods, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, etc. I'm hoping to also find women that are possibly living a gluten-free life for health reasons. They welcome pregnant women and those looking to start their families, and they include the men pretty often, too. Who knows what they're all really like, but I'm looking forward to possibly making friends with lots of like-minded people (not to mention connections for future jobs, etc. - you never know who you're going to meet! That's the DC part of me coming out...).

I'm enjoying the recent twinges of excitement that have been long overdue. As it down-poured here in DC last night, I put my chin on my windowseel and watched the rain bounce off the street at eye-level. It's at eye-level because we live in the basement and our windows literally open onto the street (the squirrels walk right up to the open window and eat from my hand). I thought about how I will probably never experience that little but strange phenomenon again, and how if I had raised a child here, they would probably know nothing else - how funny! Two weeks ago, I would have wept at the sight of rain hitting the street at eye-level, but last night I just smiled and enjoyed it for one of the last times.

Making Peace with It

For some reason, the joy that came when I pictured a new life in Austin is now lost in my total grieving for leaving this city. Everyday, I have to weigh the pros and cons all over again, just like I did in the very beginning. The pros of moving always seem to win somehow, but my heart only feels the pain of the cons.

It seems that every step I take is filled with trying to absorb the environment around me, often saying softly, I may never walk along this beautiful street again. And while I want to go out and experience DC to the fullest - one last time over and over again - it almost takes an army to get me out of my apt, over which I am grieving, too.

Am I too attached to one location? Is this a good exercise in change and challenging what is so familiar? Why am I suddenly scared out of my mind to move to a city that I love and that is so happening, and that is so ultra beautiful and cool? I could name 20 reasons, but I'll start with one: could I be having an identity crisis?

When I had my mini freak-out the other night, and I begged Erik to admit that he was freaked-out, too, he instead said that he is thrilled to be moving, and that he will have there in Austin (or anywhere we move) the one thing that matters most in life: me.

Again and again, his perspective makes me have to stop and wonder what in the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I also be content with the fact that I have absolutely everything that I ever wanted (minus a savings account...overrated, right...?)? Why can't I fully embrace my own philosophy that life is too short to live in one place for too long, and that change is good? Where did all of this anxiety come from when I was so confident about it all before?

Everyone says it's normal, which is true, but it's hard to tell when you're being normal and when you should be listening more closely to your fears... And hence the long sessions of weighing the pros and cons in my head.

Pro: My entire family is there, and I've already missed so much of their lives - it will be great to be re-integrated and to raise my kids with cousins.
Con: My entire family is there...many of them crazy (have you met my mother?)!

Pro: I've always wanted to grow a garden and to sit on my screened-in porch and shell peas from their pods while watching the sky change colors as the sun goes down. I'll own a screened-in porch!
Con: I'm trading my very highly valued and incredible urban life for more square footage and a yard - is this a move that's true to who I really am? Or will I just always want what I don't have? How can you want both at the same time?

Pro: I will have much more freedom to swim in natural swimming holes, to hike and bike my heart out, to drive to the beach without renting a car, and to take long walks in my neighborhood without having to share the sidewalk with 100's of people.
Con: I will have to take a car everywhere except for on walks (though they are building a light rail - 10pts for you, Austin!).

Pro: The schools are a million times better in Austin, and the crime rate is a million times lower.
Con: ...OK...I can't think of a con for that one...

Anyway, you get my point - my mind circles around and around, sometimes hitting huge relief with my decision, and sometimes hitting total paralysis thinking that I have completely made the wrong choice, and that I'll totally regret it.

As Erik wisely points out, we would not be happy raising children in this apt without making many changes that aren't economical for renting. He says that if we had chosen to start our family here, that we would have had to push out because it's so expensive, and that living in the suburbs would completely defeat the point of staying here (the same conversation we had when we decided to move). Since his job is not an issue and isn't confining us (he telecommutes), why not take the leap?

And so it is that I am crazy and he is wise. Indeed I love this city, but the things I love about it would probably not be the same when kids come into our lives. This location in Dupont Circle has meant everything to me, not to mention that most of our friends live on our street! But if we stayed, our location would change, and everything would be different anyway.

On some days that little pep-talk works for me...on some days it doesn't.

But I had a great discussion with my neighbor in CVS last night (God forbid we should talk in our building - that would be too neighborly!!). He and his wife (a very international couple - she's Parisian, and he's...can't remember), and their young baby are pushing out to the 'burbs because life in Dupont Circle with a baby is not as easy as they thought it would be. They are leaving this seemingly convenient area for Kensington, MD for better quality of life (and they could easily be moving to Paris where her family is!), and they're paying $500K for a house smaller than ours. Well, what better story could I have heard! Suddenly after that, for some reason, it was all much better. I slept with more ease and I woke-up this AM without my usual instant panic.

So just like that, I kissed good-bye my visions of carting kids on the subway to school, and watching a toddler play every weekend on the National Mall. I'm working on replacing those visions with a child climbing our tree in the backyard and falling asleep to a story being read by Grandpa.

I can always visit the Eiffel Tower - I don't have to live there, right?!

Where to begin?

The daunting task of moving looms over our heads like a final exam - we know what to study, but where do you begin (especially after 7 years of class)?

Moving isn't as overwhelming as it is that we are facing many things at once. In fact, the actual boxing of our belongings and putting them in a truck is the most straight-forward part of the whole deal. But knowing that there are so many other things to do is where my mind starts to swim.

It will all come down to cost in the end.

We've completed an inspection on the house, and all in all, I'd say we're pretty lucky to have mostly minor issues. But one of those “minor” issues is that the AC needs to be replaced at some point, which will probably run us around $4,500. Also, there is termite damage and other things that are apparently characteristic of the area (in other words, not reasons to not buy this house), and each issue has a nice little price tag and needs to be addressed “in the near future”.

Perhaps these repairs and their costs would seem average or even insignificant to an experienced home-buyer, but for me, it felt like a decision between repairs on things that I can’t even see (termite damage), vs. the remodeling of things that I CAN see and hate how they are now.

$$$$$

The remodeling tasks are not urgent, but they are what will make me love this house much sooner as opposed to just tolerating it for what may turn into years (especially if we have kids right away). My income is only going to get smaller, if not outright disappear for awhile over the next year, so it seems to me that we should remodel while we can, and be happily poor for ever after. But would that mean that I have to choose between replacing carpet with hardwood floors or buying a car?

$$$$$$

Seriously, buying a car is the last thing on earth that I want to do. Not only do I not want a car at all, but I don’t even know where to begin in terms of what you’re supposed to pay these days, whether you should buy or lease, and whether or not it’s possible to get a hybrid or some environmentally-wise car. My sister has suggested a good dealer in Austin that she trusts, but other than that, I’m clueless. I’ve seen commercials about Vehix.com and CarMax is it? Those seem like interesting avenues, but again, what do I know. I didn’t know the first thing about buying a house either, but it’s the thought of one more expensive foreign purchase that is more overwhelming than the simple act itself.

As exciting and fun as it can be, home renovation is also pretty foreign and can be a little intimidating. Erik and I have particular visions here and there and are super excited about the potential, but the devil’s in the details. We know we want to replace carpet with hardwood floors, but such prompts the decision of knocking down walls that need to come down in order to open up wasted space in the house. The two are synonymous because it’s better to do it all at once so that you have consistent flooring where those walls once were. It’s hard to explain in writing, but one of those walls is in the kitchen and contains the sink – taking it down is a crucial part of opening-up the space, but that would take the renovations to a whole new level.

We had a long talk with our Realtor yesterday (who is awesome - thanks, Ravyn!!), and he helped us walk through some of our ideas. It may seem strange that we'd be discussing this with our Realtor (especially before we even own a house), but he takes particular interest because he wants to maintain a relationship with you long after you buy the house so that he can also help you to sell it when it's time (a win/win for everyone!). Not only is he interested in all of us being able to re-sell the house at some point, but he's very interested in what you do to it in the meantime. It's really nice to have someone helping us that has the same goal: making it work for us and increasing the value.

All in all, I think we've decided to move forward with a couple of things that will cost us big bucks now, but that will be worth it right away. Hello new floors, good-bye eating out (and good-bye asthma)!

Though I sometimes feel overwhelmed with the decisions that have to be made and the costs associated with each, I feel lucky to have these “problems” at all. Less fortunate families don’t have the luxury of being “burdened” with car and renovation decisions because they have to take the bus and they live in the projects. So no matter the repair or expense, I do feel fortunate to have my particular situation. We may have some seriously 80's features for awhile, but at least we’ll have a house with dynamite future potential! And we'll enjoy every step of the way.

While I was having a mini freak-out about how little money we'll have after all of this is said and done, and how it's not how I pictured starting a family (broke), Erik reminded me that many families start off with a lot less. My husband is fearless, and I am so lucky to have the influence.

Priceless.

Confessions of a Messie

Being organized is a highly valuable gift that not all of us have.

There are many philosophies as to why some people are "messy", and why others go unburdened by such a trait. Teachings from parents (or lack thereof) can often be quoted as the reason. Depression or laziness is a popular competitor to parental blame (or praise). And then there's the combo of both labels that will pretty much never let a "Messie" out of Messie Jail (or Messie Heaven, as it may be for some). Oh, and I can't forget the rebellious type, when the mother (most often) is extremely clean, and thus the messy adult child is...well...just isn't clean.

Many that know me well probably know of my struggles to be organized and to maintain. Perhaps they know this about me because I am not good about emailing them back or keeping up about certain things. Or perhaps they're familiar with my closed-door policy: "Don't go in that room or you may get lost", or "You didn't tell me that you were bringing someone home!" (Erik's most familiar with this one).

And so it is to my friends that I officially reveal something that is not just a personality trait, but that is one of the biggest challenges in life: I'm a Messie.

The purpose of my blog has been to keep people updated about a busy time, but it's also served as my journal (first ever), as a record of the times, and as a place to explore my fears and excitement about going into unchartered territory (in this case, having a baby and "keeping house"). And so my confessions begin.

This may sound crazy to most, but my biggest fear about having a baby has been about staying organized. It's not just a common concern that "every new mother" faces, but it's a truly debilitating issue with which many struggle daily. It has the ability to not only hinder one's productivity on a personal level (though work is different for some reason), but it can paralyze us in ways that I am just beginning to realize.

People that struggle with this don't intentionally make excuses to excuse themselves, but because they often don't know what else to do. If you are disorganized, how can you even begin to organize the time to get organized? There will always be an excuse as to why there's no time to start and finish a project that's been building up. That's usually because it is generally just too overwhelming for a Messie to even fathom where to begin, or there are too many other things competing as priorities (ultimately none of which will probably ever get done...).

So what do you do?

The above book that I am reading validates the existence of specific characteristics of "a Messie", not justifying the actions, but identifying the traits and the mantras of people that struggle with chronic disorganization. No matter the reason, there's a world full of us, and there is no simple solution for any of us.

Baby steps with things here and there is the starting point. But ultimately it seems that pretty serious systems have to be put in place and followed somewhat religiously, striking the balance to not have it rule your life. While some may protest that systems WILL rule your life if you take it too far, I would argue that NOT having systems in place is actually what rules (and ruins) a Messie's life.

The book suggests that "Cleanies" have systems that come somewhat naturally to them for whatever reason - maybe because they grew up in this environment, or maybe because they visually can't stand clutter. Whatever it is, a Cleanie is motivated to do what a Messie will only obsess about and never accomplish (and if not obsess about, than just ignore but with the same end result).

And so doing pretty much anything is overwhelming to a Messie because there aren't systems in place. Opening mail, for instance, can be the worst thing in a Messie's life if there is no system for filing, and if there is not an address book/record-keeping system. A Messie will keep a pile of envelopes with people's addresses on them, intending to later record them in an address book or online somehow, but then never get around to it because the pile just grows and grows and it will take too long. And so a system that requires you to do it the second you open the mail (and not ever putting it off) is what will actually make the Messie accomplish the simple task of opening mail.

What's ironic is that with these systems, a Messie can actually end up becoming more systemic and organized than even many Cleanies! OK, so the book says this isn't actually true because a Cleanie doesn't have as much potential to revert into a Messie, but whatev - you know what I mean.

Of course there are many different levels of seriousness. I, for instance, have a medium problem: my house isn't perfect, but it's not concerning either. And once it hits a certain point, I whip into shape and tackle everything (pretty often). But the point is to not let it get to that point in the first place. The issues at our house are small in comparison, but they're enough so that it's time to create some systems to make things run more smoothly. Oh, and btw, I'm not the only Messie in this house...so that has risen the alert from yellow to orange...

My grandmother has been paralyzed by her inability to get control of her chronic disorganization problem. Her husband died back in the 70's, and she was never able to confront the task of cleaning out an entire garage and house full of his stuff. Nor was she able to sell a farm that he could no longer work. Instead, she filled both places to the rim with anything and everything, never being able to throw anything out, and never being able to find beauty in her environment ever again. If you knew her, you would never know that there is barely a walkway in her house, because she is incredibly put together all the time - never even a hair out of place. But her life is another story. Blame it on being from the Depression Era, blame it on the grief of losing a husband so early - whatever it is, it's a trait that has been faithfully passed down to all of her kids and grandkids, and we are plagued by something that doesn't even have a name.

I have never been inspired to read a book to help me conquer this problem. And as the book has pointed out, I am always trying to create solutions that just don't stick. But with the help of this book, I feel that I have entered Messie therapy, and I hope my kids and husband (and I) will all benefit from this paperback writer.

So...is that it...?

After Erik and I put an offer on a house last week, we received the most precious counter offer than I had ever expected. Not only did she hand-write a letter to us (which her Realtor scanned and emailed to ours), but she wrote carefully and patiently about the house's history, it's previous owners, it's scrapes and cuts, and it's Band-Aids. This precious 80-year old woman continued to write about how much we will bring to Austin from DC, and how much she would like for us to raise our family in this house. She also spoke of the wonderful neighborhood, and how there are many new families and a "baby parade" every day of the week. She is moving to CA to be close to her daughter, and she is glad that we're moving to Austin to be closer to family, too. I almost cried it was so touching. And it's almost like she knew exactly what my anxiety points were and calmed them like a mother would (how very Austin of her to be so thoughtful).

Needless to say, it was very hard to negotiate business and play "hardball" with an 80-year old woman that is sweeter than your grandma!! As our Realtor said, "she is very proud of this house and is probably not going to let it go easily, so go up a little in price, but stay pretty low and see if she'll come down a little more...then we'll see - we can always make another counter when she counters or refuses."

But here's the funny thing: she didn't counter. She accepted our offer, and we're "under contract"! I almost fell over I was so stunned. It all happened so fast! We thought we'd be at it for at least another week of back-and-forth. But instead, we're under contract and awaiting an inspection. We sent a big-ol' check in the mail for what's called "earnest money", and I guess now we just wait and see how the inspection turns out.

My dad is going to accompany the inspector in our place, and he's also going to measure the rooms for us while he's there. If you couldn't tell from the video, I originally did not think that was the house we were going to buy or I would have been taking much more careful footage and measurements (and talking very excitedly!). Who knew?!

In addition to the inspection, we also have to get a quote for homeowners insurance (scary!). And of course, there are other steps, too, but I'll let you know more when we get to those.

So it's not the ah-hah! house that I imagined, but I love it more and more everyday, and I'm having a great time talking about potential changes with Erik. If we end up getting this house, I think it will be fun to work creatively together in a way in which we've never done. Arranging furniture in a rental is so different that tearing down walls in a place that you own together (with your credit and financial life at stake!). I look forward to watching Erik's creative side go wild. We don't have much money to play with (at all actually), but that makes it even more fun!

Cheers to the process and whatever it may bring us! It's an unpredictable adventure thus far!

Raw Footage

Below is a video of the inside of the house (link wasn't working yesterday, so I couldn't add it).

Like I said, the inside is not a gem...but it's the location and the "potential" (and the trees and the sqft) that matter on this one.

Enjoy :)

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Mueller? Mueller? (or was that Bueller...?)

We're back from Texas. Again.

We had a memorial service/family reunion for my uncle Eddie who died last month. It took so long to have the service because we had to locate all of his "estranged" kids, and do other complicated things that I won't expand upon. The important thing to mention is that a gaggle of kids that have never met before got together and bonded like nothing I've ever seen. Oh, and not to mention, they are spitting images of their father, and most of them had never met him. It's really, really crazy how even mannerisms transfer to your children without even being around them.

Not only did I meet the only cousins I have (besides the ones on my mom's side, all of whom I have never met...), but we also saw both of my siblings with all of their children, in full action, out at a country BBQ. My brother is pregnant with his fifth, and my sister is pregnant with her 4th (and my other sister, who was not there, is possibly going to get pregnant again this summer- her oldest is in high school!) - all I can say is respect, respect, respect. The fact that they still get up EVERY morning and do it all over again is amazing to me...I have nothing but straight-up respect.

That's just 4 of them (my brother has twins!!!)...

Two of my siblings (and Dad).

And oh how productive our trips are to Texas! They are completely sleepless, but productive (no sympathy from Ravyn there... And did I mention that we saw her bundle of joy, too?!). We saw AT LEAST 30 houses in 2 days. I saw that many on the last trip in 3 days, but if you double the people (Erik came this time), we found that you can do it in 2 days!

So we've pretty much decided upon an area. Unless something ridiculously awesome comes up in a more desired area, we are good to continue a more narrowed search which is a tremendously easier hunt from afar. The neighborhood is called Delwood in an area otherwise known as Mueller. It's named after the Robert Mueller airport that used to be located there (and hence the goofy name of this post). It was decided to move the airport further out and to develop the space much like all the other cities that have ever done this. The result? The houses in that area are rising in value, and now there's lots of shopping. Total re-gentrification, but there's always a good and a bad side where that happens.

But it turned out great for us, because not only did we decide upon that area, but we decided upon a house! We made an offer yesterday on a house that met our specs with regard to the sqft, walkability to things, 40ft+ trees in both yards, 3 beds, 2 baths, 2 living areas, equity-gaining potential and decent schools. Now THAT's a lot to ask for our price-range in a hot area, but we found it!


Notice how I haven't gone on and on about the inside. It's because the inside is nothing to write home about, but there's a lot of potential because the space is big, and the layout is decent. We may be a little embarrassed (or me anyway) at the first couple of gatherings we have with how 80's it is, but I'm sure we'll talk a lot about "our vision" for the house. Too bad we'll be too broke when we get there to do any updates right off, but at least we have a vision to get us through (we'll see what I'm saying when I'm postpartum and hate everything...)!

It's hard to tell what will happen because houses at this price/sqft in this area are flying off the market in 19 days, and ours has been on for like 22, but we'll find out more on Friday!

Holy Guacamole! Where's Pancho? We're moving to Texas!