Recess

Ever noticed how the word "recess" is in "recession"? I like to think of it as Erik taking a "recess" from work. Since he was laid-off last week, he has not "played" at all (as one might do at recess), but instead has prepared incessantly for interviews and the chance that he might make a connection. He studies his code, he works on updating his website, he polishes his resume and he paces endlessly. His staring off into space has finally subsided as the shock of being laid-off wares off. And nothing has touched his playful spirit, positive attitude and the complete desire to be productive and working on something cool! As I type, he is in the other room on a follow-up call for an interview he had on Friday... Can't wait to hear how it goes!

I am wrapping up a day of work, and now that Erik is not working at his desk, I have somehow lost motivation to work at mine. I haven't felt great the past couple of days, so I have worked on my laptop with my stack of papers right in the bed. I have never felt so lazy (and comfortable) in my life. I used to get up, shower and get fully dressed just to go sit in the other room and work. But lately I'm all about working in jammies and using pillows as my desk. Maybe when Erik returns to his routine, I will find it in myself to return to mine.

Until then, I am trying not to eat stupid things. For one, I almost ate a huge ball of cookie dough last night which has raw eggs in it - a huge no-no. Instead, I had a piece of cold pizza, forgetting to pick all of the cold meat off of it which is another HUGE no-no (and even eating what cold meat has touched is a no-no). I am not so freaked out as much as I am just dumbfounded at how I can outright forget these rules so easily. If I don't watch out, I'll soon be at a sushi bar eating California rolls and washing it down with a beer.

When I am feeling well (and not throwing up), I almost forget that I am pregnant. We don't sit around talking about baby names or how we will raise our kids. I don't look at magazines at night looking for inspiration for the baby room. It's almost funny how little we DO talk about it. Maybe it's because not being sick is such a nice relief that it's nice to talk about other things.

But then there are those moments when I remember that I'm pregnant (and not just sick), and there are those times that we do talk about it. I can see the change in my belly, and breasts and hair, and I can feel my heartbeat stronger within my body. My veins are more blue and they remind me of the important job they are doing. My thirst is constantly off the chart due to the increasing amount of blood that I'm producing. Sometimes I look down and press all over my belly to feel the difference, and I am just now beginning to feel that it's not just my regular PMS bloating - it's different. And now at 3 months, the baby is swimming around freely in there, and even sucking its thumb - something I am supposed to be able to feel pretty soon. But right now, I am enjoying the mystery that I am sort of subtly reminded of as it takes place within my body.

Erik makes an effort to sing and talk to the baby, telling it updates about what we've done that day or how we're so excited. They say that the mother and father should always sing and read to the baby, even in the womb. I have been a little shy about this and I kind of do it in private, but Erik has been great about it. He just walks right up, lifts my shirt up and starts talking. I'm glad we are such close friends as partners or this could be really awkward...

Randomly, I just had a craving for veggies and tofu from a place on the "drag" on campus called Veggie Heaven. I haven't eaten there since I was in college...where do these things come from?! Last night our house guest was telling us about how his wife would wake up at 2am and send him out for ice cream or whatever it was that she "had to have". He said this was toward the end of the pregnancy when she was pretty uncomfortable and couldn't sleep. I am happy that I am still happily sleeping (though I didn't much last night), and my cravings take place between 7am-10pm. Erik has so much to look forward to...