Projectile Poop. I am totally not exaggerating. I've heard about the geyser-like pee that baby boys can often deliver, but I've never seen poop shoot out of a human being like this. Erik and I could both win awards for the looks we give each other when it happens. On many occasions, Stella has shot poo straight into the air and has successfully hit one of us with it. Then we look at each other in disbelief, and suddenly...we hear the noise again...and we barely move in time to watch it go flying by. This kid has quite the aim. Our friends witnessed the same thing the other day but with her projectile spit-up. No kidding, folks - 2 inches into the air! We change clothes a lot around here...
I hear two descriptions the most when people talk about life with a new born. Either they describe it as a "cake walk" because newborns sleep so much, or it's "very challenging" because newborns don't sleep at night. But I think many would agree that it's probably a strong combination of both.
Stella has passed that first-two-week period where all she did was sleep and I was literally waking her up every 2-3 hours to eat, even all night. But then, as babies do after two weeks, she started to wake up much more, and that's when the guessing game really began. Before, not sleeping and breastfeeding were the biggest challenges. But blissed-out hormones somehow carried me through. Those same challenges stuck around, but little things were added to it everyday. For instance, as she started to wake up more, she also cried more about...?? That's the challenge - we never know. We go through the list of things that could possibly be wrong, and when we don't figure it out, we start all over again and pray that something's changed. Is she hungry? Dirty diaper? Gas? Diaper too tight? Does she need a change of scenery? Is something poking her? Is she cold? Too hot? "No" to all of those? OK...well... Is she hungry now...?
Also, as she is now more awake, she really only wants to be close to us, and by "close", I mean "on" us. She likes the warmth of our bodies, she likes hearing/feeling our heartbeats. And really, I'd have it no other way. We ALWAYS hold her with the slight exception of putting her in the "bouncy chair". But she screams anytime we put her down, and she is no longer sleeping well anywhere but right next to me (like touching me). I dare not complain about this precious time in our lives because I know it won't last. But I'm also trying to keep an accurate record of what life is really like right now.
Mainly, it's hard sometimes when, say, you have to pee, or do dishes, or make food, put clothes on, or any of the stuff you once did without thinking about it. So I've learned to do those things in half the time it used to take. I put her in the bouncy seat for a few minutes and brush my teeth and pee in record time, finishing just as she starts to fuss or spit-up. Or I bring the bouncy seat from it's place in the bathroom to it's second home in the kitchen while I rush to throw a sandwich together for Erik, hoping I can finish mine, as well. The real plan was to be able to wear her in a sling for these things, but so far, she won't do the sling for more than 5 minutes. I think that might have to do with our (the parents) learning curve... But I will never give up trying - the sling is truly my ticket to staying productive and being the kind of parent I want to be (one that responds to every cry).
Erik has again proven how amazing he is. He doesn't hesitate to help me at night, waking up at all hours to change diapers and maybe start a load of laundry while he's at it (yes, at like 3am!). He offers to take her in the evening after work so that I can catch a nap. Even though he's working, if he sees that she's sleeping and I am getting some much needed housework done, he'll make lunch for both of us. Erik is an amazing dad. He carries Stella around as she screams out and fusses, singing every song he knows, doing the footwork of our swingdance moves. Sometimes she'll relent, resolving to be quietly alert while staring at the Daddyman, or drifting off to sleep. And sometimes hours of trying to console her just ends in a disappointing hand-off to me for the boob. I only say disappointing because he feels bad when he can't console her. But even though she may have cried all the while, I know she was consoled and conforted on her dad's chest. We may not always know what's wrong, but we'll always listen and try to figure it out, never leaving her alone to deal with it.
When I have her in my arms (and even when I don't), I can't stop gazing at her, studying every detail. Every sound she makes pulls huge emotion out of me. Her funny faces create genuine belly laughs, and her grimaces and screams make tears form in my eyes. She purses her lips together and makes faces that resemble a turtle or little bird, and I think I can't hold back the hardest squeeze I've ever given anyone - just too cute. When we lay in bed awake when most everyone else is sleeping, I sing to her as she nurses, and I smooth her eyebrows to relax her forehead. I adore her feet with my free hand, I savor every breath I can feel her taking as she lays on me, and I smell her sweet baby breath (and it smells so sweet - literally like sweet air).
While the romance between us never stops, sometimes I am a little less "romantic" on the nights where we are up a lot more. I summon the help from my bedside latenight radio show, I play Sudoku on my phone...in fact, I do everything on my phone: check email (though I can't reply because I only have one hand), search for things on the Internet (like is it safe to take stool softeners for 4 weeks straight...?), and now I'm on the search for a book light so that I can read treasured fiction again. After a year of reading only pregnancy and baby books, I am finally ready to lose myself in a novel. My goal is to be excited about waking up 40 times during the night to read vs. being anxious about how little sleep I'm getting and how nuts I feel. I am immersed in a great novel now, something I've missed.
Mostly this time of life has been magical. Honestly, the adjustment has not been as hard as I thought it would be...I'm trying to have perspective - I know much harder days are coming! Sure I'm not back in the saddle, flying around town doing errands like I used to (actually, I haven't left the house at all by myself because her head still flops around in the car seat). And there's a lot more dirt on my floor and dishes in my sink than there has ever been. But I'm learning to be Zen about what I can't control, and to just embrace the new pace, the new list of priorities that top the ever-growing old list (yard work, organizing the garage, painting the house, etc.). Nowadays, I'm lucky to drip salsa on the floor and then be able to actually bend down and clean it up...
But the trade-off is completely worth it. I am happier than I've ever been. Even in my sleep-deprived state, I never fail to realize how fortunate I am to have my family and the opportunities I have. It is the greatest blessing for me to be able to stay at home with my daughter, not having to rush her to daycare in the morning on a routine that is completely not hers. Instead, we enjoy sleepy mornings together and take our time through the day with no other real plans but to clean-up and keep fed. I can't thank Erik enough for helping to make my dreams come true. Together, we raise this little girl without the stress of schedules or commutes, without pumping or bottle feeding, all because we are blessed with the opportunity to do so. I am fortunate, and I cherish every second.
All in a month:
Stop it, Mama...!
Middle of the night...sleepin' with Daddy
She is known for her funny faces...
Freeze...put your hands up!
Hands up!
OK, foot up, too!
"Excellent..."
First pediatrician visit...we didn't like that too much...
Take you drivin' in my car, car...
Big foot comin' at ya!
And big cheeks!
Middle of the night...again :)
"Tummy time on my special quilt made just for me!"
Keep those hands up!
Up!
Keep 'em up!
Amazing Daddy (and he bought ME flowers for being a good mommy... :)
Nappin' while Daddy works
First visit with Great Grandma Fahrenthold!
And today...one month old. Happy Birthday, Beautiful.
1 comment:
She has such a sweet face and beautiful eyes! It's so good that you're chronicling these things now. With the lack of sleep they are really hard to remember later on.
As for projectile poop, E was similarly talented in that area as an infant. The first time she did it, Dan was changing her diaper and she shot right into his hand. It freaked him out quite a bit but it was pretty hilarious to watch him go jetting across the hall to the bathroom sink :) He was definitely more cautious during diaper changes after that.
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