All is Not Lost

We have been so lucky that our families have gone so long without many losses for years and years. Out of the many family members (especially with divorced and remarried parents), that is a large group of people to have not had many deaths. But this year that changed, and we have now had 3 losses between us.

Earlier this year, we suffered the loss of Erik's grandpa to a plane crash (he was one of the pilots). There aren't really words to describe his grandpa and how he touched people's lives, but if it gives you any idea, the community around for miles and miles submitted editorials to the papers everyday for months after he died, and 900 people attended his funeral. I'm not kidding when I say that I've never met anyone like this man in my life, except that Erik has his exact same gentle nature and spirit - it's true.

And then we were hit with the sad news that we had lost Erik's precious Aunt Peggy after a long, long battle with breast cancer. She fell ill suddenly, and she went very fast. Erik flew out immediately, and I cried and cried as I packed his suitcase because of the suddenness of his departure, but I just kept thinking of how Peggy's family must feel to have lost their wife and mother so fast. I honestly just can't imagine the strength you have to have to get through something like that.

Even though she had cancer for a long time, there was always hope because she was so positive and was such a fighter, and she somehow pulled out of situations that many didn't expect her to survive. So when people assume that her death must not have been a shock because she had been living with cancer, it was still a shock because she had been LIVING with cancer. She still led a full and vibrant life, and she still called Erik on his birthday when she could have been doing countless things (or could have been feeling bad). Even though people may have "expected" it at some point, everyone was still taken by surprise as she fell suddenly ill and was taken so suddenly without much warning.

I didn't know her well, but was able to spend quality time with her at our wedding reception in July that Erik's mother threw for us. She was so kind and peaceful, wise and genuine, and what struck me most was her genuinely positive attitude, and her ability to concern herself with others as opposed to being concerned about herself. It's hard for people who don't have cancer to imagine living with it. But instead of giving me that picture, it helped me to see how her life was moment-to-moment, and yet she was still so selfless, so active and so engaged. Many people healthier than most still don't have the positive attitude or the energy that this woman so outwardly showed. She inspired me to live more fully and more positively. I think she's taught everyone to do that. I was so lucky to be able to fly to CA in a moment's notice to spend time with this wonderful family (my family), and to celebrate the life she lived.

Nancee, if you read this one day, I hope you will contribute your comments publicly about Peggy and her life and beauty.

And then perhaps you remember from a couple of posts ago that we lost my uncle last month - we are flying to TX this weekend for his funeral. Out of his death will come this reunion of people that I never would have seen or met, but that are my family. Because he did not have a relationship with his kids, I did not grow up with those cousins (or any cousins, for that matter). We are all similarly aged, graduating school, getting married and having babies - perfect! Though they had a very hard life being raised without their father, they have incredibly positive attitudes about coming to Texas to meet the family and to make final peace with their birth father. I am proud of my own dad for taking it upon himself to make this happen, and to bring this special group of people together for his brother.

We will also hopefully be meeting our new house while we're in Austin! OK, so we haven't exactly bought a house yet, but after 10 hours or scheduled house hunting coming up, we're hoping to fall in love with something and to get this show on the road!

While I want to be optimistic, I am a little nervous... Unlike the last house hunting trip I made, we do not have a particular area pinpointed, and we've blown our options WIDE open. All bets are off - we have practically no limits. Sounds like it would be easy to work with, but instead, it makes house hunting from a distance incredibly hard. We are considering houses in areas we know nothing about, and you really just can't get a sense for an area unless you can drive or walk through it. So we hope to be quick studies this week, determining whether we think we could handle living a little "further out", or if we are truly city folk and would go nuts without a coffee shop and farmers market down the road.