Ready to go home...again.

We have been staying out at my dad's place taking care of my elderly grandma while he and his wife are away for a few days. Caring for an elderly grandma with early signs of dementia is probably not that far off from caring for a child with a WILD imagination, or a teenager with whom there is just no reasoning. She is completely lucid and normal, but then she will start to talk about super crazy stuff that is just not happening. When she starts to do the paranoia thing, there is just no consoling her - you can only shake your head and let her know that you're listening. It is very sad to watch her be so scared about things that aren't happening and not be able to calm her.

But on the bright side, we've had a nice stay out here in the hill country. It was like a little winter getaway with a nice back porch over looking the hill country, lots of deer right up close and a big screen TV. We limited ourselves to like 1.5 movies per night, forcing ourselves not to turn it on until like 8pm, and not to watch it past 11:30. It's hard to stop watching good movies like American Gangster, Forrest Gump, Cold Mountain and Knocked-Up...I am SO GLAD we don't have a TV!

The deer in my dad's backyard.



Scrabble with Grandma.

But after spending 10 days in DC and 4 days out here, we are definitely ready to be in our own house for awhile. Eating when pregnant and sick is so much easier at your own place. My dad's place is pretty far away from a grocery store, so there's no running out to grab something when everything in the house makes you want to throw-up. But I was glad to see that his grocery store carried some organic products. Though we are in Austin where Organic is God, we are still out in the country where BBQ beats all.

My nausea still comes and goes but I'm grateful that it's not as bad as it was. Now that I am more stabilized, I am going to try to limit myself in some of the things that I'm craving. For instance, I CANNOT get the image of a chocolate pie out of my head today. Last night it was watermelon and sour cream (not together, thank goodness), and today it's pie. When my dad comes in from the airport, we are supposed to get lunch in the hill country (a town down the road called Dripping Springs), and we will eat at a precious little bakery known for its pies. So I may not be able to pass up satisfying this craving today (I pray they have chocolate pie), but I am going to try not to give into every craving that crosses my mind, especially if it's going to affect my thighs. Because our baby will be born in July, I will save the watermelon cravings for summertime. You will probably find me in some pool somewhere with a huge plate of watermelon through all of June. The consistent thing that I often crave is some variety of grapefruit, whether it's the actual thing, or a grapefruit-flavored soda or grapefruit Popcicles. Something about the sourness calms my nausea and satisfies my sweet tooth, too. Hail the mighty grapefruit!

It won't be long before we have to pack our bags up again and head to California for a week to see Erik's mom (which we are way excited about - we leave on New Year's Eve), but until then, we look forward to a little bit of routine and R&R at home.

Recess

Ever noticed how the word "recess" is in "recession"? I like to think of it as Erik taking a "recess" from work. Since he was laid-off last week, he has not "played" at all (as one might do at recess), but instead has prepared incessantly for interviews and the chance that he might make a connection. He studies his code, he works on updating his website, he polishes his resume and he paces endlessly. His staring off into space has finally subsided as the shock of being laid-off wares off. And nothing has touched his playful spirit, positive attitude and the complete desire to be productive and working on something cool! As I type, he is in the other room on a follow-up call for an interview he had on Friday... Can't wait to hear how it goes!

I am wrapping up a day of work, and now that Erik is not working at his desk, I have somehow lost motivation to work at mine. I haven't felt great the past couple of days, so I have worked on my laptop with my stack of papers right in the bed. I have never felt so lazy (and comfortable) in my life. I used to get up, shower and get fully dressed just to go sit in the other room and work. But lately I'm all about working in jammies and using pillows as my desk. Maybe when Erik returns to his routine, I will find it in myself to return to mine.

Until then, I am trying not to eat stupid things. For one, I almost ate a huge ball of cookie dough last night which has raw eggs in it - a huge no-no. Instead, I had a piece of cold pizza, forgetting to pick all of the cold meat off of it which is another HUGE no-no (and even eating what cold meat has touched is a no-no). I am not so freaked out as much as I am just dumbfounded at how I can outright forget these rules so easily. If I don't watch out, I'll soon be at a sushi bar eating California rolls and washing it down with a beer.

When I am feeling well (and not throwing up), I almost forget that I am pregnant. We don't sit around talking about baby names or how we will raise our kids. I don't look at magazines at night looking for inspiration for the baby room. It's almost funny how little we DO talk about it. Maybe it's because not being sick is such a nice relief that it's nice to talk about other things.

But then there are those moments when I remember that I'm pregnant (and not just sick), and there are those times that we do talk about it. I can see the change in my belly, and breasts and hair, and I can feel my heartbeat stronger within my body. My veins are more blue and they remind me of the important job they are doing. My thirst is constantly off the chart due to the increasing amount of blood that I'm producing. Sometimes I look down and press all over my belly to feel the difference, and I am just now beginning to feel that it's not just my regular PMS bloating - it's different. And now at 3 months, the baby is swimming around freely in there, and even sucking its thumb - something I am supposed to be able to feel pretty soon. But right now, I am enjoying the mystery that I am sort of subtly reminded of as it takes place within my body.

Erik makes an effort to sing and talk to the baby, telling it updates about what we've done that day or how we're so excited. They say that the mother and father should always sing and read to the baby, even in the womb. I have been a little shy about this and I kind of do it in private, but Erik has been great about it. He just walks right up, lifts my shirt up and starts talking. I'm glad we are such close friends as partners or this could be really awkward...

Randomly, I just had a craving for veggies and tofu from a place on the "drag" on campus called Veggie Heaven. I haven't eaten there since I was in college...where do these things come from?! Last night our house guest was telling us about how his wife would wake up at 2am and send him out for ice cream or whatever it was that she "had to have". He said this was toward the end of the pregnancy when she was pretty uncomfortable and couldn't sleep. I am happy that I am still happily sleeping (though I didn't much last night), and my cravings take place between 7am-10pm. Erik has so much to look forward to...

10 Weeks

We went back to DC and Cumberland, MD for 10 days for the Thanksgiving holiday, and what a great trip. We didn't do anything spectacular, but it was great to be back in the old neighborhood and frequenting the old haunts. And so good to see family and friends. Honestly, it was a little harder on my emotions than I expected (because I miss it way too much), but my return to Austin was easier than I expected, too, so it all worked out.

Mainly, I love DC during this time of year, and was reminiscing about our old life there, one that would be hard to have with kids. Making the transition to Austin has been so much harder on me than I thought and so much easier on Erik than I expected. He is the one that is constantly convincing me that we did the right thing and that he definitely prefers working from home in Austin (and visiting DC) than commuting into DC everyday from the suburbs (which would have been the plan with kids if we had bought a place there). I just could not get that through my head until we landed back in Austin and took a cab to our neighborhood.

I was finally genuinely happy to be home, and the house finally felt like ours (for the first time to me). As we walked in, I was glad to see that no one had broken in, and I was relieved to finally lay my eyes (and my body) on our own bed. I was happy to wake-up to bright sunshine in the morning, and I was amazed that our trees were completely bare and had finally lost all of their leaves (Erik wasn't too thrilled about the raking...). I was glad to hop in the car and go to our favorite places to eat and to do some grocery shopping in amazing downtown Austin. I am not sure what finally clicked, but I am now embracing our move instead of constantly regretting it.

While I loved our apt and Dupont Circle, I was pretty tired of looking out the window and seeing parked cars above us! I also know that we could not have had there what we have here. As Erik says, we would either be renting an apt in a different (bad) neighborhood , and we wouldn't have been able to even qualify to buy an overpriced house in the burbs (barely qualified for what we got in Austin). All in all, I think our quality of life will be better here, and I am finally excited about embarking on our Austin adventure!

Now that I am 10 weeks pregnant, I am fully embracing the quiet comfort of our new home. Just the convenience of a not so cramped kitchen (like counter and storage space) can make a big difference when you're roaming the kitchen for an easy meal and trying not to yak on yourself. Our kitchen in Dupont was so big compared to other Dupont kitchens, but it had it's issues. For instance, you had to back-in ass-first between the fridge and the cabinets to get pots out of the cupboard. There was a huge pipe that ran through the entire house that was our heat source, but its existence in the kitchen made it almost unbearable to be in there in the winter (and you can forget about baking...anytime of year). The linoleum (yes, linoleum) had turned to a pee color and looked like I had already yacked on it. And while we were sooooo lucky to have windows at all, the view was tires and tailpipes.

Our new kitchen is pretty dated and ugly (blue Formica counter tops with a pink Formica backslash that is somehow all one piece...?), but it is so nice and open, and we no longer dread cooking since we don't have to prepare an entire meal on a cutting board-sized counter top. Honestly, Erik has been doing all of the cooking lately. I was in there quite a bit when we first moved in, but with my latest food aversions, I can barely stand the site of most food unless it suddenly appears in front of me somehow and then is suddenly eaten. The smell of the dishes (no matter how bad or few) makes me turn green, and I often spray the entire sink with a natural cleaning product that smells like basil (I've wanted to spray Erik with it a couple of times, but he prefers showers). He was basically dismissed from cooking those wonderfully elaborate home cooked meals he was making because my appetite has been reduced to wanting canned tomato soup, oatmeal, grilled cheese with mayo and pickles, pimento cheese sandwiches and Popsicles. Refried beans and rice make it to the list sometimes - oh, and Thai food of all things - but mainly the kindergartner in me comes out for mealtime (did I mention that I searched the entire Whole Foods for an authentic can of Spaghettios?).

Erik has been so amazingly supportive during this rough "morning sickness" stage. Early on I learned that I cannot get out of the bed without eating first or I'll be sick for hours. So he leaps up every morning to refill my water and to make whatever crazy thing I feel that I can stomach (oatmeal, cornflakes, breakfast tacos, whatever). Thanks to a nice package that his dad sent us, we even have a white wooden tray for eating breakfast in bed! Too bad my only feeling is to throw-up or it would be like staying in a B&B for 3 months! He never complains, he never suggests that maybe I might be ok to get it myself this time. He never assumes that the nausea is anything less than the worst case. I am so lucky to have this support right now. And I still can't believe that Erik is my partner for life - makes me cry every time I realize it.

During the rest of the day, the nausea comes and goes without reason or warning. Doing too much in one day or at one time definitely contributes to my susceptibility to it, so I've learned to chill WAY out. I used to run circles around myself, and now I'm like a 2-errands-at-a-time kind of girl.

I would say the biggest challenge right now is sticking to a workout routine (oh, and not throwing-up in general). I started one up when we got here, but then I got pregnant and sick. I started it up again despite the sickness (forcing myself to walk), but then we traveled for 10 days and it all went out the window. So I'm hoping that I may be able to get back on track this week. It's not only important for my body, but it's great for my mental health and it's so important for pregnancy (as is throwing up apparently).

Clothes have been challenging, too. With all of the craziness around moving and staying with other people when we gave our apt up, we both got out of our exercise routines, and I was not in great shape when I got pregnant. So my regular clothes were already a little tight, and now they're just a thing of the past. The books are all about embracing your new body and accepting that the creation of life is the focus and that it's beautiful. But it doesn't make it any less frustrating when it's your thighs and butt growing more than your belly, especially after only being able to eat white things (my middle name is now "Rice cake"). The economic times prevent me from being able to adjust my wardrobe to my "beautiful body", so don't be too alarmed when I literally start turning old sheets into MC Hammer pants (in floral)!

But being pregnant is an amazing experience overall, and we are very excited! Sharing the big news with our family and friends has been really great. While I complain and make jokes about the overall challenges of this time (moving, buying our first house and getting pregnant all in like 3 months), it is an incredibly joyful time and I am so grateful that this is my life. We are looking forward to sharing this time with you and staying connected to our friends and relatives. Having children is a humbling experience, and it's good to have you all interested and involved!

C-Sections, Birthdays and Painting, OH MY!

My family has been keeping us very busy to say the least. Between babysitting, birthdays and general visits, we are always on the run, but it's nice to be around family again.

The latest member of the family was born last week. My sister had an emergency C-section early Thursday morning due to an early breech baby girl trying to come out with one foot first. Arriving at the hospital in an ambulance and being knocked out with general anesthesia (no time for an epidural) is a stark contrast to the 3 natural home births she's had with the other children. But we're happy to have a safe mama, and a safe Angela Francine (all 7 lbs 11 oz of her).

Do you see the resemblance?

As you can see, all systems are finally go with the pictures, and as promised, here are some pictures of the house. We have not unpacked at all because we are still in the process of painting, and we don't want to paint around everything, so it stays in the boxes for now. There is also a general bareness because we are starting over with furniture (as in, we hardly have any). But we have picked up a few pieces from flea markets/used furniture stores, and one room is finally coming together!

Erik did a great job of arranging furniture and painting!

The futon has an off-white cover flung over it while we decide if we're ever actually going to put the darn thing on...

Nice, tall ceilings - hard to paint...


Screened-in porch off of our bedroom :)



We added those 3 lovely doors (in place of a small not-lovely window). The ladder is out because Erik cleaned out the gutters (fun).

We painted another room tonight and have started to take some wallpaper down in the bathroom (it is so ugly), so I'll put more pics up very soon!

Adjusting

OK, so I actually wrote this post almost a week ago, but I was waiting on the ability to post some pics along with it. We're not there yet (almost, but not quite), so pics will come soon - I promise!

Finally, I am beginning to feel more like I live here instead of like we are squatting in an abandoned house in some strange town. While the house still does not look any different, our routine and outings are what's making it feel more permanent.

We have been incredibly busy. Not only are we both still working full days (though I work two days less), we work for hours to unpack, to set up functional systems (like bill paying, etc.) and to set up computer stuff. We do a lot of yard work, we run endless errands, and take what seems like a trip to Home Depot everyday. As a child, I hated Home Depot, but now it is my favorite shopping spot. We browse every aisle looking at hardware for doors, interior paint, molding, lumber and yard stuff. Now that Erik has a big ol' saw (thanks dad!), and now lots of wood, I will surely never see him again. Remember the bench he made? That was just the beginning. And I can't wait! First he is going to tackle making a box for our compost. Then shelves for our bedroom (we have to hang them on the wall because the room is not big enough for a bookshelf). Then he will tackle a huge built-in for our living area. My MAN!

This may not seem like much, but when you add visiting family and friends, there's not a spare moment. But we are loving every minute and are enjoying the process.

Work-wise, we've got the routine down. We work on DC time (Eastern Standard), which makes for very early mornings, but without the commute. We get up, get fully ready and have tea while we work for the first hour or two. Then we take a quick break to eat breakfast on the screened-in porch (the Blackberry & iphone join us). I think Erik has eaten tacos for every meal from two nearby taco stands (one for breakfast tacos, another for everything after). But he finally made bread so that he doesn't turn into a chorizo taco with cheese and potatoes. Now he has his bread and spreads, and I make my everyday Mexican breakfast (one fried egg, spoon of organic refried beans and sautéed kale, all topped with avocado and hot sauce). I am not supposed to eat eggs everyday because of asthma, but I'm loving this breakfast right now...

Then we work until lunch, and we do the same thing - make a quick lunch and eat outside with our Blackberries.

Life without a commute is very different, and working from home is off-the-charts different. I thought I would struggle more with motivation and distraction, but I actually get much more done at home - no more hallway/cubicle conversations, and I don't get pulled into nearly as many meetings. I'm actually motivated to hammer through my tasks, and not to do personal stuff. However, when 2-3pm rolls around, I become increasingly antsy as I notice the beautiful weather and the neighborhood streets calling my name: "Come take a walk," they say. The margaritas also call my name, but I try to ignore them.

We have taken a many great walks to explore our neighborhood. On my first day, we bought a bike at a garage sale down the street before we even pulled into the house from the airport. So we also trade off taking the bike out (total retro cruiser), and we're working on getting another one so that we can venture out together. It's so great for going to the library and for getting breakfast tacos. I referred earlier to squatting in "some strange town" because it does not feel like Austin at times. I have never lived or hung-out in this part of town, so it is a totally different place for us both. We seek out our favorite places for dinner some times, but mostly we are being exposed to all new territory.

We met our neighbors on one side and across the street from us. We know more about these people and surrounding folks in the 15 mins that we talked than we did about our neighbors for 7 years in DC. People are so comfortable talking to others out here. It's hard to explain the contrast. If you've lived somewhere friendly, and then moved to DC, and then visit the friendly place, you will often notice how different interactions are in DC (if you're lucky enough to have any at all). As Erik put it, he forgot how much of a "westerner" he is. He says that the people are just different, and that he feels so much more comfortable out west vs. on the east coast. He said they're not exactly "bad" on the east coast, but that he can just be himself more - not as uptight. I definitely see that.

I sure do miss the Dupont Circle farmers market. Though there is a huge, bustling farmers market not far from here, I instead go to Boggy Creek Farm on Wed morning for an intimate (and quiet) shopping experience right on the farm. The variety is not what it is in Dupont (5 zillion types of apples and kale), but I still get everything we need, and I'm actually less overwhelmed. There are several varieties of mixed greens and squash, there's lamb and beef, feta and other cheeses, and much more (including gluten free brownies...) - we want for nothing, and it's a little cheaper. It's super different because it's on an actual farm, and during that time of day, there's maybe 5 other people there. And the other shoppers aren't exactly hippies, but they're definitely funky (tatoos, etc.), and they're super nice and genuine. Totally different vibe from the very urban and crowded market in Dupont. I love both, but I'm enjoying the change in pace.

All-in-all, we are settling very nicely, and we're enjoying the creative outlet of doing new things to this big open canvass that is our house. I have to be the luckiest women in the world to have such an amazing partner, a great house, a job at home, and all in a super great town that houses almost my entire family. Life is very, very good.

Blow Out

Today was my first full day in Austin. After a safe and somewhat emotional arrival last night, we ventured out in our Beastie Boys-video Oldsmobile that we're borrowing from my dad. We enjoyed waking up to a cool and overcast morning, staring at our backyard trees from our bed. Then we had breakfast at a favorite breakfast spot that exudes "Austin" (Kerby Lane) before heading off to shop for some basics (trash cans, etc.).

We decided to stop and get the alignment checked on the Oldsmobile since it was turning out to be pretty shaky (like more than the suspension that Erik repeatedly claimed "characteristic" of such old-school "rides"). While "Speedy Alignment" checked our car for what seemed like hours, we strolled through Target for only the second time in years. Being overwhelmed by all of the offerings (and having only a bike lock in the shopping cart), we decided to check-in with the car place. They said they had aligned it, but that it really needed a new tire.

At this point, we decide that it would probably be wise to let my dad know one of the tires seems to be "split", and that we're conveniently sitting in the parking lot of Discount Tires. He says that he happens to have a warranty on those tires through Discount Tires, and that he'll call back after he rummages through his papers to find it. In the meantime, we check with Discount Tires to see if they have a warranty under his phone number - they do. So the man comes out to take a look at them and informs us that the tires are 11 years old and no longer under warranty (and totally "split").

After reporting this to my dad and getting the same answer that he needs to find his paper work, we are getting hot and decide to at least get in the car and move it to the shade so that we can sit in it. We move it across the parking lot to the shade, and guess what - we can't turn it off again. The ignition or something is completely jammed and the car will simply not turn off. With a quarter of a tank of gas, and being all the way across town from my dad, we tell him that we will just bring the car to his house instead of sitting here burning gas while he figures this out.

Slowly we go with our hazards on, and on the freeway about halfway there, things are getting pretty shaky, and guess what - the tire blows. So we force the car over to the median and proceed to dig out the spare (donut) and a jack, and guess what - no jack. So then we call my dad to come meet us. And guess what - the car is still running. While waiting for a long time (and after I have run across the freeway to pee in a nearby bush), three nice men pull over and let us use their jack to get the donut on. By the time my dad arrives, the donut is on and we're ready to "roll".

Thankfully he offers to drive the Olds while we follow in his truck, and guess what - the donut blows. He maneuvers the Olds into a parking lot where we have to turn the car off by disconnecting the battery (and taking it with us so that it doesn't get stolen, since the key is still jammed in the ignition). From there on, it was a safe journey to his house where he had my sisters old convertible Z waiting for us (not as cool as it sounds, but it runs!).

Once we get a little more set up, I promise to post pics of our place. It looks great and we're really enjoying it. What we expected would be a good day of unpacking got lost on the car stuff, but we are taking it one box at a time.

I am fortunate enough to have been able to keep my DC-job part-time through March, and to telecommute from home. Erik and I have set up two little offices in our house, and we are preparing for a productive work week conducted from our home!

My last days in DC were really, really great, and I still feel like I'm just visiting Austin and squatting in someone's house. But more and more it's hitting me that I'm a homeowner (in this economy), and that I'm a resident of Austin (with a DC drivers license). Erik's smile is bigger than I've ever seen it, and really, that's all I care about at the end of every day.

Between Worlds

I wish I could share pictures, but the camera equipment is in a box. On a truck. In Texas. Texas.

We're out of the apt - oh so much harder emotionally than I thought it could be. Every time I stopped being so busy, I would just cry. Perhaps it's unhealthy to be so attached to a place - city or dwelling - but that is definitely what I am. After our AMAZING friends helped us move our stuff out of the apt ALL DAY LONG (thanks, Friends!!), we reminisced in our quiet, empty apt about how amazing our lives have been here, and about how incredibly lucky we are to have had the opportunity to live the way only some people can dream about. I will never ever forget how happy I have been here.

I am now working on the phase of being excited to see the new home that we actually own in Austin, another really amazing town.

Earlier when I meant to write this post, Erik and I were both between worlds. He was in transit to Austin, and I am still living in DC, but with friends. I'm happy to report that he and his sidekick, Jason, have safely arrived in Austin, and are tired beyond words. I, myself, went to bed at 6pm the past two nights and forced myself not to do the same tonight, so I can only imagine that Erik is delirious. But I did get a twinge of excitement when he called with his arrival news, and once he wakes up, I can't wait to hear about his impressions of his first home (that he owns). I'm sad to not be experiencing this week with him, but hopefully the money I am making will be worth it (like...we'll be able to eat - yea!).

The season here in DC has completely changed - fall has rushed in with very cool days and cooler evenings. City people are running around in their fall attire - some in the latest fashions, and some in the sweaters they've dug out from the bottom of their closets. I will miss how very stark and complete the four seasons are here in DC. It's funny that fall here is kind of how winter is in Austin. But when cold-fronts hit in Austin, it gets down in the teens and skips the snow all together - Austin just goes straight for the ice storms - the rest of the winter is very mild. But there is something to be said about not having to lug your heaviest long coat everywhere you go. I'm looking forward to a fall and winter of wearing just layers. And I intend to keep my DC-experience as a deep internal layer that I will never peel off - one that I will always know is there.